The Hyper Critic Conundrum

At least once in your lifetime you will encounter a person who is hyper critical of you.  It may be a boss, co-worker, parent or whoever – but you will encounter a hyper critic.  And depending on how you react to them, it could lead to your needless destruction.  Here’s why.

The hyper critical person is basically one who is insecure in themselves and therefore thrives on pointing out the failures of others.  To them, everyone else is a failure except for themselves.  Which, because of the aforementioned fact, there is no way that you can ever please a hyper critical person when you become one of their victims.  Furthermore, a hyper critical person can and will destroy your sense of self worth – if you let them.

When a victim becomes tormented by a hyper critical person it is multifaceted.  For instance, the criticism could come in the form of incessant nit picking, constant public humiliation, etc.  Hyper critical people also like to torment their victims by comparing them to others who are seemly more successful.  But even as multifaceted as the attacks can be – they boil down to one main desire of the hyper critical person.  That is to mold their victims into the persona as they see them while trying to prove that they are the better person.  And it is this molding/besting process which is detrimental to the victim of an hyper critic.

One thing to remember once you become a target of a hyper critical person is that they are not all that.  In other words, they are not perfect. They have had failures in life just like you – so don’t let them get into your mind with the torment of their criticism.  The other thing to remember is that you are uniquely you – with different capabilities, talents and abilities which are unique to you.  Indeed, and often the case, there are abilities that you may have that the hyper critic does not have. Even if you have similar skills and abilities as the hyper critic – you may be better in a lot of degrees than they are.  Whichever the case, don’t let a hyper critic destroy your self worth by shutting down your creative juices. If you’re getting the “so and so has a better job, or whatever” comparison thing from the hyper critic – remember this – “so and so” is not all that either.  As well, “so and so” cannot be a measured condition on your life path because you are unique to yourself.

Finally, be who you need to be – not who a hyper critic wants you to be.  I don’t say this lightly, as the aforementioned task is daunting – but, again, you need to discover who you are – not what a hyper critic thinks you are.

Do you have hyper critical people in your life?  If so, how do you deal with them?  Leave a comment.

So you think you’re that great?

This is just a warning to the narcissistic “all that” people in this world.  Your time is coming. It may not be this instant, next month, or year from now – but your time is coming.

What got me going on the “what goes around comes around” topic this morning is the way that Robin William’s daughter, Zelda Rae, was treated on social media in the days following her father’s death.  This,  plus some issues that I have been personally going through in the last few weeks.  In short, Zelda was forced to stop using social media of any type due to the cruel and heartless comments about her father.

Whether it is a face to face confrontation – or from behind a computer screen – words can critically damage a person.  Particularly, when that person is going through a difficult time such as Zelda.  More so, even if you’ve done things to help the person that you are assaulting with your words – your aforementioned efforts are nullified by your words.  Furthermore, your “I’m better than you” premise that gives you the “so called” right to destroy people with words is in itself faulty.  Because you are not better than – and you have faults, skeletons, what have you – just like the person that you are assaulting.

But here’s the real kicker – by you unfairly railing upon whoever you are railing upon – you are opening the door for trouble.  Because, indeed, what goes around comes around – and the very same treatment that you put out to others is coming to you.  Even worse, you may find yourself in a “tables turned” condition where you need that aforementioned railed upon person more than they need you!

Just saying…